I’ve had a break from all things social media over the Christmas period and it’s been pretty good, but I couldn’t enter a new year without updating the blog. Everyone needs to do a year review and well here’s mine…
So 2012 was the mother of all years and it was the absolute worst at times. It’s been a heavy year for most people that I know, some had their hearts broken, others got ill, some lost their jobs or a loved one… but I still think of it as an amazing year in its own way and do you know why? Because we simply don’t grow in good comfortable times, we’re not forced to reflect on the life we’re leading or people that we’ve become. It’s the trials and tribulations that shape us, they force us to face our reality and reflect, and if we’re strong enough then we become better. 2012 was a very difficult year for me. I started it as single… damn I haven’t been single for 11 years – been in three long term relationships, one after the other. I started 2012 by parting from the biggest love of my life so far and THAT my friends was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. We didn’t end because we stopped loving each other or because we had just grown apart, how I wish it had been one of those two. We ended because love is simply not enough, because two people’s timings are sometimes out of tune and at that time no matter how much we tried we just couldn’t get it right anymore. So, much of 2012 I spent reflecting on why’s and what if’s. Remembering all the plans we had made, the way we felt the day we moved into our home together, the way the man who had declared he would never marry or have children decided that all he ever wanted was to have me as his wife and one day to start a family with me, the way he had held me in his arms every single night, the way he made sure there was always flowers on our living room table and blueberries in the fridge because that would make his love happy, the way I would wave to him from the balcony as he left the house for work and we would continue to wave to each other until he would walk out of sight, the way I would walk into his wardrobe when he was at work early shift and inhale his scent because I missed him so much… yes much of 2012 was spent realizing how badly we had failed each other and that extraordinary love. I am so proud of myself for not trying to plaster that bleeding wound by running into different arms to numb the pain, instead allowed myself time to mourn until I couldn’t cry anymore. How beautiful a broken heart can be, how much wisdom it can bring…. I am the best version of me so far thanks to it. And in the very same year I reached a place where I could make peace with all that had happened, accept the role both of us played in the ending of it and allow him the place in my heart he so much deserves, where he can remain always- my beautiful man of few words.
2012 was also the year I had the chance to meet people I might never have met otherwise. I met some of the best and some of the craziest out there. I learned so much from my amazing friends and I realized how incredibly good people can be. I was blessed to hear their fantastic life stories and felt such inspiration being around them. I also meet some less fantastic people and had the courage to put them aside and set my boundaries. The best part of year 2012 was learning the value of boundaries in all relationships.
2012 was also the year I got myself back into shape. I can’t imagine ever going back to those years when I didn’t exercise. Trust me, a strong body equals a healthy strong mind.
2012 was the year I spent writing, listening to music and enjoying art. It was the year I got to know London and started taking pride in calling myself a Londoner.
2012 was year I got to know myself better than ever before. Yes me, myself and I have fun when we get together ;) I have learned to be kind to myself because I deserve it.
2012 was the year I went from being a Journalist to becoming a Publicist I have never been happier career wise and I plan to continue this path.
Yes 2012 was a testing year but that’s what made it amazing. It’s now time to reap what we have sown and I look forward to making 2013 the happiest year of my life. I have big plans and big dreams which I visualize every single day, and in 2013 I plan to make it all happen. I have never entered a new year with this much excitement and that’s because I have realized the power of my own will.
I wish you all the happiest New Year! Thanks for being part of my life.